Story time! Addict Diaries Vol 2: That time I left home & reality knocked me on my a** .


**Trigger Warning: The following content contains subject matter & dialog involving drug/substance abuse. 


It was 2002 and I was 17 years old, I thought I had life figured out & knew everything. Don’t we all at that age? Oh how the mighty fell.. and fell hard. The real world slapped me in the face harder than I could have ever imagined. I still had a year and a half left of high school until I graduated, and I was in “love”. I loved Tommy* so much, I just knew we were going to get married, have babies, and live happily ever after forever. Of course, me being the reckless child I was, I decided I didn’t want to follow the rules anymore. I was a “grown up” with like a totally real job at a local burger joint. I was such an adult, so why are these adults trying to tell me what to do right? *hair flip* I’m totally 18 now and sooo mature.

So of course I made the stupidest decision of my life, I dropped out of school and moved 40 mins away from my tiny hometown (that I had never left from before) to live with the love of my life and his sister at their grandmothers trailer. Living the dream right?

I was working 2 jobs out there, day manager at a Subway and worked nights at an adult video/novelties store, yeah okay it was a porn shop, ugh. This went on for a couple of years. At this point I had never done a drug in my life besides my older brother convincing me to take a hit off his weed bong when I was 13. I barely even knew what drugs were. This was a whole new world. I hadn’t known how sheltered we were from the bad things in the world growing up. My parents did an amazing job of keeping us kids in a kid world far away from adult situations for as long as possible. These people out here in this larger city were so different than I was used to. They were all 18/19 years old like myself and some were selling drugs, others doing drugs. They knew and did things I had never even heard of before. It was the scariest but most exciting experience of my life. Tommy’s* sister, she had a best friend (Nicole*) that was dating one of the guys that sold drugs, Jeremy*. I was so shocked at how he was my age, yet had wads of cash and a lock box full of weighed out crack rocks, weed, and bottles of pills. I had no idea what any of it was. 

Inevitably, I was offered things when we would all get together and hang out, never had any real interest though. Everyone mostly just smoked blunts and maybe took a Xanax here and there. Back then, the biggest decision we had to make was which flavor swisher we were gonna get from the corner store to use for rolling our blunts. The simpler times.One Sunday I was off work from both jobs, we all got together at Jeremy’s* rent house to hang out and party, basically just have fun be dumb kids. That was the night Nicole* took a Xanax and I asked her a question I spent YEARS regretting and wishing I would have never asked.


“Hey, so what does that do?”.

...to be continued. 
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**Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

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